


the love you find at home

by gaykavinsky (lesbiankavinsky)



Category: Twelfth Grade (or Whatever) (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, this is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 01:16:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7412734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbiankavinsky/pseuds/gaykavinsky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drew says stuff like this all the time, when Oren kisses him on the cheek or pays for his ice cream or passes him the butter. You’re so sweet, you’re a darling, you’re a gem. The kinds of words that he would never have expected from Drew and, more importantly, that he never would have expected to be applied to himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the love you find at home

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Growing Up" by Run River North

In the weird, airless summer before the start of college, Oren spends the time that isn’t consumed by alarmingly adult things like packing lists and paperwork in Drew’s basement being as unadult as possible, watching  _ Rocky and Bullwinkle  _ (something he’d never seen but which had been a staple of Drew’s childhood) and drinking soda and making out. They haven’t really had the college talk yet but strangely enough, Oren feels okay about that. One of the best things about Drew, he’s found, is that he really makes it seem like everything will be alright, one way or another. A steady calm in contrast to Oren’s bright, nervous energy. Odd, now, to remember that he ever thought of it as dullness or lack of personality. 

They’re lying in silence now on the futon, the sound of the TV a soft white noise in the background. Drew had said something shockingly funny that had made them both laugh until they couldn’t breath and after that they’d had to lie a few minutes, Drew hiccuping slightly and Oren wiping the tears from his eyes. Without looking, he reaches over and catches Drew’s hand, pulling it to his mouth to kiss the knuckles.

He turns to see Drew watching him with a now familiar smile reserved for moments like this. “You’re so sweet, man,” he says, and Oren laughs. Punching Oren’s shoulder lightly, Drew says, “I mean it!”

Oren bites his tongue. Drew says stuff like this all the time, when Oren kisses him on the cheek or pays for his ice cream or passes him the butter.  _ You’re so sweet, you’re a darling, you’re a gem _ . The kinds of words that he would never have expected from Drew and, more importantly, that he never would have expected to be applied to himself. It makes him a little nervous, though. Drew’s insistence that he’s good and sweet and kind often leaves him questioning whether he’s actually any of those things. Often he feels like an imposter, like he’s passed himself off to Drew as this great guy when there’s something completely different and much more ugly under the surface.

“Drew,” he says carefully, and Drew’s grip on his hand changes subtly in response to the shift in Oren’s tone. 

“Yeah?”

“What if you’re wrong? What if I’m not a nice guy.”

“Well, I definitely hope you’re not a  _ nice guy _ .”

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

Drew is silent for a moment, then he pulls his hand away and rolls over onto his stomach, propping himself on his elbows so he’s looking down at Oren. “I’m not wrong. I’m good at like, three things in life.”

“That’s not true,” Oren interrupts, but Drew keeps talking.

“No, listen. I’m good at math and I’m good at memorizing like, weirdly large amounts of poetry and I’m good at people. I have really good judgement. I’m basically never wrong about people.” 

“And you think you’d believe I’m a good guy no matter what?”  
Drew squints and does that thing with his lips that he always does when he’s trying to figure out how to ask what he wants to ask. Finally he says, “Is this about something in particular?”

Oren shrugs. In some ways, it isn’t. The persistent feeling that he isn’t everything his teammates (former teammates, he reminds himself) believe him to be isn’t linked to anything specific, but when it comes to Drew, there’s one thought that always bothers him. He looks at a spot on the wall and asks, “Do you think you’d still like me if the -- uh -- experimentation hadn’t gone so well?”  
Drew laughs, a sound too light for Oren’s new mood. “I mean, it turned out pretty well for me, I’d say.”

“Yeah,” Oren says, “but what if it hadn’t?” He turns his head, and Drew’s face is more serious now. “I mean, what if I’d kissed you and then decided I was straight. Wouldn’t you have felt like I was taking advantage of you?”

“Dude, no,” Drew says, and when Oren still looks worried, he goes on. “Listen, I’d had a crush on you for ages and always assumed it was hopeless. The fact that I was getting a chance to kiss you was pretty great, even if it might have just been a one time thing. I still would’ve enjoyed it.” He shrugs -- a big, lazy gesture that Oren loves without being able to say why. “You were perfectly straight --” he cracks a grin and Oren laughs. “I mean, you were perfectly honest with me about your intentions. You weren’t misleading me. I think that’s the important thing. Obviously it’s shitty to act like you’re interested in a serious relationship with someone and then back out and be like, oh yeah, sorry, I was just experimenting, I’m actually totally hetero.”

“But I’d never do that,” Oren says.

“Yeah, exactly. I think the most important thing is being honest about what you want and what you feel. If I’d thought I’d be unhappy if you kissed me and then decided kissing dudes wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have said yes. I’m pretty happy with the way things turned out, but I was ready for it to be a different story. You were honest and you asked permission and I don’t see any way that you could do those things and come out of the situation looking like an asshole.” 

Oren smiles, small and happy, and puts a hand around the back of Drew’s neck to pull him down for a kiss. “Still,” he says, “I’m pretty glad it turned out the way it did.”

“Yeah,” Drew says. “Pretty lucky for me.” 


End file.
